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E-text prepared by Jane Hyland, Jonathan Ingram,
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol. 150.


March 8th, 1916.


CHARIVARIA.

Germany is declared to have built a submarine that can go to the UnitedStates and back. Future insults therefore will be delivered by hand.[Pg 161]


Municipal fishshops are to be established in Germany. They will beclosely associated, it is understood, with the Overseas News Agency, andwill make a speciality of supplying a fish diet to sailors who areunfortunately prevented by circumstances from visiting the high seas.


In his lecture before the Royal Institute last week Dr. E. G. Russelltold his audience that there are 80,000,000 micro-organisms in atablespoonful of rich cucumber soil. If we substitute German casualtiesfor micro-organisms and deduct the average monthly wastage as shown bythe private lists from the admitted official total of availableeffectives—but we are treading on Mr. Belloc's preserves.


The Government has announced itself as "satisfied with the measurestaken to prevent Canadian nickel from reaching the Germans." Except, ofcourse, in oblong pellets of insignificant size.


Answering a question of Sir Arthur Markham in the House of Commons lastweek, Mr. Tennant said, "If there was a large force of troops in Egypt,as to which it is undesirable that I should make any statement, it isquite conceivable that the presence of a hundred and seventeen Generalsmight be necessary." After all, if every one of them were just aBrigadier-General, they wouldn't require more than half-a-million men tokeep them occupied.


Naval inspectors of cookery, it is officially announced, will hereafterwear a narrow stripe of white cloth on their cuff. This is a simplifiedform of the ancient heraldic emblem of the cook's guild, which was ahair frizzé naiant in a dish of soup maigre.


All kinds of cleaning and washing are to be dearer, and a patrioticmovement is already on foot among the younger set to do away with theseluxuries altogether in the interests of patriotic economy.


As a reward of its efforts to save the lives of war-horses, theR.S.P.C.A. has now been officially recognized by the A.V.C. Somehindrance to their work is however feared as the result of strongprotests lodged by the Westphalen Pie-makers' Association of Rotterdam,which the Government, in its anxiety not to deal harshly with theneutrals, is said to be carefully considering.


The owners of certain proprietary whiskeys have decided to put them upsixpence a bottle. In response to this move the owners of certainproprietary sixpences have decided not to put them down.


A correspondent of The Times states that large numbers of Owls havetaken to visiting the trenches in Flanders. The War Office, strangelyenough, professes to know nothing of the circumstance.


THE ROYAL GONDOLIERS.

"We understand that our courteous Allies in Venice have offered to supplyfloating facilities for our troops in the flooded t

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