E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 150.
January 19, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
In a description of Lord Kitchener'shome at Broome Park we read thaton the way there one passes a kind ofcrater known by the rustics as "OldEngland's Hole." And a little fartheron you come to the man who got OldEngland out of it.
A German professor advocates theappointment of State matrimonialagents. Elderly and experienced ladiesand gentlemen should be employed tobring young people together, and "unostentatiouslyto give them practicalcounsel, conveying their remarks tactfully,and in such a way as not toawaken the spirit of contradictionfound in youthful minds;"paying due regard, moreover,to theories of eugenics andheredity. The Winged Boydisguised as an antique Germanprofessor makes an attractive picture.
Some anxiety was caused inAmerica by the news that theFord Peace party was to meetin the Zoo at the Hague. Butthey have all emerged safely.
The Governor of South Carolina,who was one of the membersof this heroic mission,left the Hague in a great hurryand returned to America beforethe rest of the delegates. Muchcuriosity is expressed as to whatthe Governor of North Carolinawill have to say to him on thisoccasion.
In spite of the Government'sofficial discouragement of anyfurther rise in wages a demand for anincrease of no less than 33-1/3 per cent,has been made by the "knockers-up"in the Manchester district. For goinground in the chill hours of the morningand wakening the workers, these blood-suckers(chiefly old men and cripples)receive at present the princely remunerationof threepence per head perweek; and they have now the effronteryto ask for fourpence.
The German Government has decidedto raise the charge for telegrams.Wolff's Bureau has instructed its correspondentsthat in order to meet thisnew impost the percentage of truthin its despatches must be still furtherdiminished.
Before the opening of the LuxemburgParliament two members of the Oppositionthrew the chairs belonging toMinisters out of the window. It isfeared that something of the kind maybe attempted at Westminster, sinceseveral Members have been observed tocast longing eyes upon the TreasuryBench.
With a view to increasing the food-supplythe German Government haveextended the time for shooting haresfrom January 16th to February 1st,and for pheasants from February 1stto March 1st. The dachshund season,we understand, will be continued forthe duration of the War.
Count Kospoth, a member of thePrussian Upper House, in the courseof an energetic plea for economy, remarksthat "at one's country-seat onecan very well do without a motor-car,and even with two to four horses instables instead of six or eight."This was read with great satisfactionby the Berlin Hausfrau on a meatlessday when the bread-card was exhausted.
The House of Commons was quiterelieved when Sir George Reid tookhis seat. There had been some fearsthat he would take two.
A young woman who mistook Vine-streetpolice station for a tavern, andwas fined ten shillings for drunkenness,is reported to have expressed theopinion that there is room for improvementin t