E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Jonathan Ingram,
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 158.
MAY 5, 1920.
CHARIVARIA.
We understand that Lord Fisher,who is reported to have taken a weekoff to say what he thought about theBudget, has asked for an extension oftime.
Germany has decided to abolish graduallyall titles of nobility. They willdisappear Von by Von.
Six hundred Irish emigrants left forNew York last Wednesday on boardthe Celtic. All, we understand, wereadvised before leaving that the priceof a man's votes, after the first five orsix, isn't what it was in former Presidentialelections.
"I hope I will not come back untilthe basis of a realpeace with Russia issecured," said Mr.Snowden on the eve ofhis departure. Thereare other people whodon't much mind whatcause detains him.
An earthquake isreported in California,and a volume of poemsby the Poet Laureateis announced. Whata breathless week!
"What is wantedin our prisons," says awell-known preacher,"is more humanity;in the Irish prisonsin particular the rightkind of humanity."Even in the rare cases where we gethold of it we don't seem able to keep it.
The Liverpool and District Federationof Brotherhoods and Sisterhoods,protesting against Sunday cricket, declaretheir anxiety to maintain in everyway the traditional sacredness of theEnglish Sabbath. With roast beef atits present price this seems scarcelypossible.
A "uniform evening dress for women"was advocated at a discussion on"Fashions" by members of the LyceumClub. Smart Society, it is observed,by a gradual process of elimination isworking down to something of thekind.
"Increased party bitterness," saysa Berlin correspondent, "is becoming afeature of German life." A sharp cleavageof opinion is detected between theparty that refuses to comply with theterms of the Peace Treaty and the sectionthat merely intends to evade them.
It appears that a man has been finedfive pounds for using bad languageabout Mr. Winston Churchill. Latestreports from the district are to theeffect that his remarks were rathergood value for the money.
A weekly paper advocates the sterilizingof all foodstuffs. This is a decidedadvance on the old custom of siftingsoup through a set of whiskers.
Germany, says Mr. James Douglas,lost the War. It is said that even theex-Kaiser now admits that everythingseems to point that way.
A Madras tiger cub, we are informed,has been born at Pontypridd. We canonly suppose that the animal did notknow it was Pontypridd.
Futurist painters, says a contemporary,are becoming scarce in America.The wave of crime that followed theWar seems to be falling off.
The Department Committee of theFalkland Islands suggest that whalesshould be marked by a small projectile.This is much better than screwing themonster into a vice and carving itsname and address on it with a chisel.
A Beachy Head correspondent writesto a daily paper to say that he has seena peculiarly bright light in the sky.Quite a number of people are asking,Can it be the sun?
A morning paper