TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Printer's inconsistencies in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation,and ligature usage have been retained.
PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. CL.
April 26, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
General Villa, in pursuit of whom a United States army has alreadypenetrated four hundred miles into Mexico, is alleged to have died. Itis not considered likely, however, that he will escape as easily asall that.
"Germans net the Sound," says a recent issue of a contemporary. Wedon't know what profit they will get out of it, but we ourselves inthese hard times are only too glad to net anything.
Bags of coffee taken from a Norwegian steamer and destined for Germanconsumption have been found to contain rubber. Once more theimmeasurable superiority of the German chemist as a deviser ofsynthetic substitutes for ordinary household commodities is clearlyillustrated. What a contrast to our own scientists, whose use of thismost valuable food substitute has never gone far beyond an occasionalfowl or beefsteak.
It has been suggested that in honour of the tercentenary of Shakspeare's birth Barclay's brewery should be replacedby a new theatre, a replica of the old Globe Theatre, whose site it issupposed to occupy; and Mr. Reginald McKenna is understood to havestated that it is quite immaterial to him.
"Horseflesh is on sale in the West End," says The Daily Telegraph,"and the public analyst at Westminster reports having examined asmoked horseflesh sausage and found it genuine." It is only fair toour readers, however, to point out that the method of testing sausagesnow in vogue, i.e. with a stethoscope, is only useful forascertaining the identity of the animal (if any) contained therein,and is valueless in the case of sausages that are filled with sawdust,india-rubber shavings, horsehair and other vegetables.
Wandsworth Borough has refused the offer of a horse trough on theground that there are not enough horses to use it. But there arealways plenty of shirkers.
Colonel Churchill was reported on Tuesday last as having been seenentering the side door of No. 11, Downing Street. It was, of course,the critical stage door.
The Austrian Government has issued an appeal for dogs "for sanitarypurposes." The valuable properties of the dog for sterilising sausagecasings have long been a secret of the Teuton.
Commercial Candour.
"Real Harris Hand-Knitted Socks, 1s. 6d.: worth 2s. 6d.;unwearable."—Scotch Paper.
Shopkeeper. "Yes, I want a good useful lad to be partly indoors and partly outdoors."
Applicant. "And what becomes of me when the door slams?"
A Chance for the Illiterate.
"Wanted, a good, all-round Gardener; illegible."—ProvincialPaper.
"Gardener.—Wanted at once, clever experienced man with goodknowledge of toms., cucs., mums., &c., to work up small nursery."
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