PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol. 153.

August 29, 1917.

[pg147]

CHARIVARIA.

Germany is a bankrupt concern, says The Daily Mail. Adenial is expected every hour from Herr MICHAELIS, who is Germany'sOfficial Deceiver.

Much sympathy is felt in Germany for Admiral VON TIRPITZ, whoseproposed cure in Switzerland is off. His medical adviser hasadvised him to take a long sea voyage, but failed to couple withthe advice a few particulars on how to carry it out.

Patrons of the royal theatres in Germany who pay in gold can nowobtain two seats for the price of one. This is not the inducementit might seem to be. The German who used to buy one ticket andoccupy two seats is almost extinct.

A chicken with four legs and four wings is reported fromSoberton. Did it come from any other place we should receive thestory with suspicion.

"New Labour troubles are brewing," declares The EveningNews. The chief Labour trouble, however, seems to be notbrewing.

One sportsman, says a news item, has landed seventy-seven poundsof bream at Wrexham. It may have been sport, but it has all theearmarks of honest toil.

A man charged with smoking in a munitions factory told the courthe was trying to cure the toothache. A fine was imposed, the Benchpointing out that the man was lucky not to have lost the toothaltogether.

As a means of preserving the memory of hero M.P.s, Mr. WINSTONCHURCHILL suggests a name-plate on the back of the seats they hadin the House. We understand that Mr. GINNELL resolutely refuses tohave such a plate on the back of his old seat.

Honour where honour is due. A man named KITE told the Willesdenmagistrate that he had joined the Royal Flying Corps, and themagistrate refrained from being funny.

Light cars are now becoming very popular, says TheAutocar. We understand that they have always been preferred bypedestrians, who realise that they make only a slight indentationin the person as compared with the really heavy car.

"Whatever else may happen," says a contemporary, "the finaldecision as to Stockholm rests with the Government." Ourcontemporary is far too modest. A few months ago the final decisionwould have rested with the stunt Press.

Portsmouth is to have three M.P.s, we read, under theProportional Representation scheme, though it is not known whatPortsmouth has done to deserve this.

Something like a panic was caused in the City the other day whennews got round that no mention of Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL appeared ina Morning Post leader.

A postwoman charged at Old Street Police Court admitted that shehad swallowed a postal order and a pound Treasury note. Some womenhave a remarkable objection to using the ordinary purse.

A woodworm in the timbering of Westminster Hall has beenattacked with a gas-spray by the Board of Works. The little fellowput up a gallant fight and died bravely defending his third linetrenches against a vastly superior force.

The Vienna Neue Freie Presse says that so far£18,000,000,000 has been spent on the War. But even those whocontend that it might have been more cheaply done admit that thenotice was too short to enable the belligerents to call fortenders.