Robinc
by H. H. Holmes
Politics and robots are, alike, very curious
things. But they're alike in another way—if
you look at things straight, and don't throw
out answers even if they do seem more than
a little screwy, you can use them effectively—
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Astounding Science-Fiction September 1943.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
You'd think maybe it meant clear sailing after we'd got the Council'sO.K. You'd maybe suppose that'd mean the end of our troubles and theend of android robots for the world.
That's what Dugg Quinby thought, anyway. But Quinby may have had amiraculous gift of looking straight at problems and at things and atrobots and getting the right answer; but he was always too hopefulabout looking straight at people. Because, like I kept saying tohim, people aren't straight, not even to themselves. And our futureprospects weren't anywhere near as good as he thought.
That's what the Head of the Council was stressing when we saw him thatmorning just after the Council had passed the bill. His black facewas sober—no trace of that flashing white grin that was so familiaron telecasts. "I've put your bill through, boys," he was saying. "Godknows I'm grateful—the whole Empire should be grateful to you forhelping me put over the renewal of those Martian mining concessions,and the usuform barkeep you made me is my greatest treasure; but Ican't help you any more. You're on your own now."
That didn't bother Quinby. He said, "The rest ought to be easy. Oncepeople understand what usuform robots can do for them—"
"I'm afraid, Mr. Quinby, it's you who don't quite understand. Yourfriend here doubtless does; he has a more realistic slant on things.But you—I wouldn't say you idealize people, but you flatter them. Youexpect them to see things as clearly as you do. I'm afraid they usuallydon't."
"But surely when you explained to the Council the advantages ofusuforms—"
"Do you think the Council passed the bill only because they saw thoseadvantages? They passed it because I backed it, and because the renewalof the Martian concessions have for the moment put me in a powerfulposition. Oh, I know, we're supposed to have advanced immeasurablybeyond the political corruption of the earlier states; but let progressbe what it may, from the cave man on up to the illimitable future,there are three things that people always have made and always willmake: love, and music, and politics. And if there's any differencebetween me and an old-time political leader, it's simply that I'mtrying to put my political skill at the service of mankind."
I wasn't listening too carefully to all this. The service of mankindwasn't exactly a hobby of mine. Quinby and the Head were all out forusuforms because they were a service to man and the Empire of Earth;I was in it because it looked like a good thing. Of course you can'tbe around such a mixture of a saint, a genius, and a moron as Quinbywithout catching a little of it; but I tried to keep my mind fixedclear on what was in it for me.
And that was plenty. For the last couple of centuries ourcivilization had been based on robots—android robots. Quinby'susuform robots—Q.U.R.—robots shaped not as mechanical men, but asindependently thinking machines formed directly from their intendedfunction—threatened the whole robot set-up. They were the biggestthing since Zwergenhaus invented the mechanical brain, and I was