[97]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 107.
September 1, 1894.
"CONTRIBUTIONS THANKFULLY RECEIVED."
Lardy-Dardy Swell (who is uncertain as to the age of Ingénue he isaddressing). "You're going to give a Ball. Will you permitme to send you a Bouquet? And is there anything else youwould like?"
Ingénue. "O, thanks! The Bouquet would be delightful!and"—(hesitating, then after some consideration)—"I'm sure Mammawould like the Ices and Sponge Cakes!"
THE TALE OF TWO TELEGRAMS.
ANOTHER DOLLY DIALOGUE.
(By St. Anthony Hope Carter.)
The redeeming feature of the morning batch of letters was a shortnote from Lady Mickleham. Her ladyship (and Archie) had comeback to town, and the note was to say that I might call, in fact thatI was to call, that afternoon. It so happened that I had two engagements,which seemed to make that impossible, but I spent a shillingin telegrams, and at 4.30 (the hour Dolly had named) was dulyringing at the Mickleham town mansion.
"I'm delighted you were able to come," was Dolly's greeting.
"I wasn't able," I said; "but I've no doubt that what I said inthe two telegrams which brought me here will be put down to youraccount."
"No one expects truth in a telegram. The Post-Office peoplethemselves wouldn't like it."
Dolly was certainly looking at her very best. Her dimples(everybody has heard of Dolly's Dimples—or is it Dolly Dimple;but after all it doesn't matter) were as delightful as ever. I wasjust hesitating as to my next move in the Dialogue, which I badlywanted, for I had promised my editor one by the middle of nextweek. The choice lay between the dimples and a remark that lifewas, after all, only one prolonged telegram. Just at that moment Inoticed for the first time that we were not alone.
Now that was distinctly exasperating, and an unwarrantablebreach of an implied contract.
"Two's company," I said, in a tone of voice that was meant toindicate something of what I felt.
"So's three," said Dolly, laughing, "if the third doesn't count."
"Quod est demonstrandum."
"Well, it's like this. I observed that you've already publishedtwenty or so 'Dolly Dialogues.'" (The dimples at this period wereabsolutely bewitching, but I controlled myself.) "So it occurred tome that it was my turn to earn an honest penny. Allow me tointroduce you. Mr. Brown, Mr. Carter—Mr. Carter, Mr. Brown."