PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Volume 108, April 27, 1895
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
CLASSIC QUOTATIONS ILLUSTRATED.
(For the Use of Schools.)
Example I.—"Amari a-liquid."
THE LATEST CRAZE.
(A Dramatic Study of Cause and Effect.)
Scene—Interior of a Private Box at a Popular Theatre.
Enter Angelina and her people.
Paterfamilias. Well, now that we are here, I hope you are satisfied.As for myself, I hate these problem plays.
Materfamilias. They are entirely the vogue just now, and wemust see them. What everybody does we must do.
Angelina. So I told Edwin—I should say, Mr.Domum—when hecomplained of our going.
Mater. Of course. We have to follow the fashion.
Pater. Hush! You must not talk any more, see the curtain hasrisen.
(Five minutes pass.)
First Heroine (on the stage). And so, my dear, my marriage was anutter failure. The monotony of the life was terrible. My husbandanticipated my every wish. The tameness was too awful for words,and so I left him.
[Loud applause.
Mater. (to her husband). Ah, I never left you, Richard!
Pater. (to his wife). Nor I you, Bridget!
Angelina (aside). I suppose married life must be very wearisome.
(Ten minutes pass.)
Second Heroine (on the stage). And now I will tell you the secretof my life. I never loved my husband. He gave me all I required—fineclothes, sparkling jewels, an opera box. But his presentswere insults in disguise, and I left him.
[Loud applause.
Pater. I did not insult you by handing you too many gifts,Bridget?
Mater. Indeed you did not, Richard. In fact, I think you carriedyour abstention too far.
Pater. Not at all. See, after these many years, we are devoted toone another!
Angelina (aside). Failure of Marriage Number Two! Weddingsseem to be mistake!
(Two hours pass.)
Third Heroine. I tell you, my Lord Bishop, that I have neverregretted leaving you. Twenty years ago you were a young curate,and you spoilt our married life by your indulgence. You let me haveeverything I wanted. No, my Lord, I will hear no more.
Angelina (aside). Another matrimonial failure! I really musthave a good think over it.
Pater. (to Mater.). Well, I hope you are satisfied!
Mater. (to Pater.). Awfully depressing, but I don't see what harmit can do to anyone.
(An hour passes.)
Angelina (writing in her own room). "Dear Edwin, I callyou by your christian name, for the last time. I can never be yours. I amconvinced from all I have heard that marriage is a failure. Sincerelyyours, ...