Transcriber's Note: typo "thundebrolt" changed to thunderbolt on page 267. Underlining was used to indicate where text appeared upside down in the original.
"Hat-pins to match the colour ofthe eyes are to be very fashionable thisyear," according to a Trade journal.This should be good news to thoseTube-travellers who object to havinggreen hat-pins stuck in their blue eyes.
Enterprise cannot be dead if it isreally true that a well-known publisherhas at last managed to persuade Mr.Winston Churchill to write a fewwords concerning the Labour Question.
"I have never been knocked downby a motor omnibus,"says Mr. Justice Darling.The famous judgeshould not complain.He must take his turnlike the rest of us.
"Never pull the doorbelltoo hard" is theadvice of a writer onetiquette in a ladies'journal. When callingat a new wooden housethe safest plan is not topull the bell at all.
"American baconopened stronger yesterday,"says a market report.If it opened anystronger than the lastlot we bought it musthave "gone some."
Five golf balls werediscovered inside a cowwhich was found deadlast week on a Hertfordshiregolf course.We understand that acertain member of theClub who lost half-a-dozenballs at Easter-timehas demanded a recount.
"An Englishman's place is by hisown fireside," declares a writer in theSunday Press. This is the first intimationwe have received that Spring-cleaningis over.
A serious quarrel between two prominentSinn Feiners is reported. It appearsthat one accused the other ofbeing "no murderer."
The Commercial Bribery and TippingReview, a new American publication,offers a prize of four pounds for thebest article on "Why I believe barbersshould not be tipped." The barbersclaim that what they receive is not atip, but the Price of Silence.
According to an evening paper,crowds can be seen in London everyday waiting to go into the pit. Oh, ifonly they were miners!
"It is the last whisky at night whichalways overcomes me," said a defendantat the Guildhall. "A good plan," saysa correspondent, "is to finish with thelast whisky but one."
The British Admiralty are offeringtwo hundred and fifty war vessels forsale. This is just the chance for peoplewho contemplate setting up in businessas a new country.
"A good tailor," says a fashionwriter, "can always give his customera good fit if he tries." All he has todo, of course, is to send the bill in.
Mr. Allday, a resident in LundyIsland for twenty years, who has justarrived in London, states that he hasnever seen a tax-collector. There issome talk of starting a fund with theobject of presenting him with one.
Dunmow workhouse is offered forsale. A great many people are anxiousto buy it with the object of putting itaside for a rainy day.
A Houndsditch firm has just had atelephone installed which was orderedsix years ago. This, however, is not arecord. Quite a number of instrumentshave been fitted up in less time thanthis.
We understand that the thunderboltwhich fell at Chester is not the onethat the Premier intended to drop thismonth.