FUNNY STORIES
TOLD BY
THE SOLDIERS
FUNNY STORIES
PRANKS, JOKES AND LAUGHABLE AFFAIRS
OF OUR BOYS AND THEIR ALLIES
IN THE GREAT WAR
The Victors in Their Cheerful Moments
By CARLETON B. CASE
SHREWESBURY PUBLISHING CO.
CHICAGO
Copyright, 1919
by
SHREWESBURY PUBLISHING CO.
PREFACE
Now that the dread of awful war has passed withthe coming of welcome peace, we can turn our mindswith renewed cheerfulness to the merry side of thegreat world’s conflict and enjoy with our boys thefunny things they saw and did and said while “overthere.”
The comedy side of the war has been quickly seenand readily interpreted by the world’s great writers,as well as by the very officers and men, in all departmentsof the service, who themselves participatedin both the serious and the frivolous affairs of warfareas developed day by day.
It is the humorous experiences of which these warriorsand writers have told us in speech and printthat we have sought to gather into one volume forthe edification and delectation of a humor-lovingpublic. Enough and too much has been told of thehorrors of war. To hear the pleasanter side, themerry doings of our soldiers and their allies, thevictorious hosts of freedom, is a welcome relief towar-weary hearts, freed now, and forever, from thedire dread of the awfulness of modern slaughter.
So this collection of funny stories has come intobeing; its mission to cheer us all with the merry talestold by and about our conquering soldiers.
FUNNY STORIESTOLD BY THE SOLDIERS
SECRETARY BAKER TELLS A GOOD ONE
“The neat and even elegant appearance of theAmerican soldier isn’t maintained,” said War SecretaryBaker in an address, “without hard work. Yes,the work is hard, but doesn’t the result more thanjustify it?
“On the train the other day a private sat withhis tunic unbuttoned, for the temperature was high.A sergeant strode up to him and said:
“‘Button up that tunic! Did you never hear ofby-law 217, subsection D? I’m Sergeant Jabez Winterbottom!’
“A gentleman in the seat behind tapped the sergeantsternly on the shoulder.
“‘How dare you issue orders with a pipe in yourmouth?’ he asked. ‘Go home and read paragraph174, section M, part IX. I am Major Eustace Carroll.’
“Here a gentleman with a drooping white mustacheinterposed from the other side of the aisle:
“‘If Major Carroll,’ he said coldly, ‘will consultby-law 31 of section K, he will learn that to reprimand[6]a sergeant in the presence of a private is anoffense not lightly to be overlooked.’”
THEN HE GRABBED THE PAIL
A woman, one of the 30,000 British working forthe Y. M. C. A., was assigned to scrub the Eagle hutfloor in London. She had done little manual laborin her life, but accepted the job without protest andwent down on her knees with a pail of hot water, acloth, and a cake of soap. Soon the water in the pailwas blac
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