Punch, or the London Charivari,
William Flis,
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 153.
September 5, 1917.
CHARIVARIA.
The Kaiser has again visited the High Seas Fleet in security atWilhelmshaven. Enthusiastic applause greeted the brief speech inwhich he urged them "to stick to it."
There is no truth in the rumour that one of the recently escapedHuns got away disguised as Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD.
Some commotion was caused in the Strand last week when apoliceman accused a man of whistling for a taxi-cab. Later,however, the policeman accepted the gentleman's plea that he wasnot whistling, but that was his natural face.
From the latest reports from Dover we gather that this year theChannel has decided to swim Great Britain.
As a result of the excessive rain a nigger troupe at Margatewere seen to pale visibly.
Fortunately for the Americans there is one man who will stand bythem in their hour of trouble. According to a Spanish news messageMr. JACK JOHNSON has decided not to return to America.
Owing to the scarcity of matches we understand that many smokersnow adopt the plan of waiting for the fire-engine to turn out andthen proceed to the conflagration to get a light.
A catfish has been caught at Hastings. It died worth a lady'sgold bracelet and a small pocket-knife.
The Norwegian explorer, ROALD AMUNDSEN, is preparing for a tripto the North Pole in 1918. Additional interest now attaches to thisspot as being the only territory whose neutrality the Germans haveomitted to violate.
Russian tea is being sold in London at 12s. 7d. a pound. It isremarkable that, with the country in its present disorganisedcondition, the Russian merchants can still hold their own withoutthe assistance of a Food Controller.
A room for quick luncheons, not to cost more than 1s. 3d., hasbeen opened in Northumberland Avenue for busy Government officials.It is hoped eventually to provide room to enable a few other peopleto join the GEDDES family at their mid-day meal.
KING CONSTANTINE, says a despatch, has rented an expensive villaoverlooking Lake Zurich. Just the thing for an ex-pensivemonarch.
We are requested to say that the man named Smith, charged at BowPolice Court the other day, is in no way connected with the otherMr. Smiths.
At a vegetable show at Godalming, 5,780 dead butterflies wereexhibited by children. It is understood that the pacifists areprotesting against this encouragement of the martial spirit amongthe young.
Considerable annoyance has been caused in Government circles bythe announcement that "at last the War Office has been aroused."Officials there, however, deny the accusation.
The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER has received four hundred poundsfrom an anonymous donor towards the cost of the War. The donor, itappears, omitted to specify which part of the War he would like topay for.
Germany has at last addressed a reply to the Argentine Republic,pointing out that strict orders have been issued to U-boatcommanders that ships flying the Argentine flag must always betorpedoed by accident.
Mammoth marrows have been reported