PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Volume 158, Jan-Jul 1920
June 2, 1920
CHARIVARIA.
Some idea of the heat experienced inthis country last week can be deducedfrom the fact that several bricklayerswere distinctly seen to wipe their browsin their own time.
It is all very well for Lenin to talkabout Great Britain recognising Russia,while his followers are doing their bestto render the place almost unrecognisable.
Normally, says Dr. Geoffrey Keynes,a person has fifteen thousandmillions of blood corpusclescirculating in his body. Peoplesuffering with insomniamight try counting them inbed.
According to a scientificjournal, tests recently madeshow that microbes cannot livelong on coins. "Middle Class"writes to say this is nothingnew to him, as no germ couldlive on his salary.
The promoters of the Milkand Dairies Bill hope to ensureclean milk for the public.They seem to have thought outan improvement on the presentsystem by which certain dairymenare in the habit of washingtheir milk.
It took nature several millionyears, says The New YorkWorld, to make a ton of coal.It looks as if she has arrangedto charge us retrospectively bythe hour for the stuff.
A gold wedding-ring has beenfound inside a large doe rabbitwhich was shot recently in awheat-field near Wilbury. Thequestion arises, "Do modern rabbits gothrough the marriage ceremony?"
The latest fad of the American golferis to have a small painting made ofhimself in the act of driving. We feel,however, that it will be some timebefore English golfers will place ordersfor plaster casts of their language.
Nearly all the extra firemen requiredfor the London Fire Brigade have beenengaged. Clients are assured that arrearsof fires will now be worked offwith all speed.
According to a daily paper a severethunderstorm which recently visitedLuton was not heard by the audiencein a local concert hall. It is rumouredthat a performer was at the time recitinga chapter of Lord Fisher'sautobiography.
A strike of incubator-makers is threatenedand many grocers who stock breakfast-eggsfear that a lot of chicks maycome out in sympathy.
According to an evening paper ayoung lady who was chased by a bullin a provincial meadow ran a quarterof a mile and jumped a stream sixteenfeet wide before gaining safety. Notmuch of a jump, surely, considering thelong run she took.
"Whilst motoring between Baldockand Grantham one is struck by thegreenness of the growing wheat andbarley," states a writer in a motorjournal. The regularity with whichthese cereal grasses adopt this colouris certainly worthy of attention.
Our heart goes out to the Americantravellers who set foot on our shoresat Southampton one day last week justfive minutes after closing-time.
In their recent match against Sussexthe first four Middlesex batsmen eachscored a century. We understand thatin order to obviate a recurrence of thissort of thing a movement is on footto increase the number of runs in acentury to a hundred and fifty.
We are informed that "a man arrestedby Dutch fishermen in the beliefthat it was the Crown Prince makinghis escape turned out to be a notoriousjewel thief." The error seems to havebeen excusable.