E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Juliet Sutherland,
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 104.
March 11, 1893.
MIXED NOTIONS.
No. VI.—REGISTRATION REFORM.
(Scene and Persons as Usual.)
First Well-Informed Man (bristling with indignation, as he laysdown his newspaper). Well, I'm dashed!
Inquirer (nervously). What's up?
First W. I. M. What's up! Everything's up. Up the spout,that's where this blessed country will be if this kind of thing'sgoing on.
Inquirer. What kind of thing?
First W. I. M. Why, all this gerrymandering kind of business.
Inquirer. Oh, by the way, that reminds me. I came on that wordthe other day. Can any of you chaps tell me what it means?
First W. I. M. It's as plain asa pikestaff. It means playingducks and drakes with things allround, and letting the wholebusiness go thoroughly rotten.
Inquirer. Has it got anythingto do with jerry-builders?
First W. I. M. It's the samething precisely.
Inquirer (insisting). But what'sthe point of calling 'em jerry?Where does that come in?
First W. I. M. It's a Frenchword.
Second W. I. M. It isn't.It's German.
First W. I. M. Bosh, it's French.
Second W. I. M. I bet you adollar it's German.
First W. I. M. And I bet youa dollar it's French. (To AverageMan.) Here, you decide. Whichis it?
Average Man. Well, I'm sureit isn't French——
Second W. I. M. (interrupting).Of course it isn't. Pay up, my boy!
Average Man (continuing). But,on the other hand, it isn't German.
First W. I. M. Oh, rot! Itmust be one or the other, youknow. (Scornfully.) You'll betelling us it's Greek next.
Average Man. Well, of course,it might be; but, as a matter offact, I fancy it's English.
First W. I. M., Second W. I. M.(together). Oh, you tell that to theMarines! It won't wash here.
Inquirer (doubtfully). Perhapsit's American.
Average Man (resignedly).Well I daresay it is. Any way,you can have it so if you like,It may be Sanskrit for all I care.
[Retires to his paper. A pause.
Inquirer (to First W. I. M.).But, look here, what made you loseyour hair, just now? You lookedas angry as blazes about something.
First W. I. M. (with dignity).Did I? Well, isn't it enough tomake anybody, who loves his country,angry when he sees what'sgoing on. Why, the Government's going to turn everything insideout, with some blessed new law about elections. Registration Bill,they call it, or something of that sort. Just as if we hadn't hadenough tinkering and pottering lately. It's all through this confoundedCounty Council interfering with everything.
Second W. I. M. (aggressive). What the dickens has the CountyCouncil got to do with it? You're always dropping on the CountyCouncil.
First W. I. M. Oh, they've got their finger in every pie. I'mpretty certain this is their job.
Second W. I. M. Well, you're wrong this time, that's all.You're thinking of the Employers' Liability Bill.
First W. I. M. No, I'm not. I never even heard of it. So that'swhere you're wrong. What has the Employers' Liabill got——Imean the Employers' (steadily,