PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 152.
February 14th, 1917.
CHARIVARIA.
"We will hold up wheat, we willhold up meat, we will hold up munitionsof war and we will hold up theworld's commerce," says Herr Ballin.Meanwhile his countrymen on theWestern front are content to hold uptheir hands.
It is reported from German Headquartersthat the Kaiser intends toconfer on Count Bernstorff the IronCross with white ribbon. This has,we understand, caused consternationin official circles, where it is felt thatafter all the Count has done his bestfor Germany.
"We are at war," says the BerlinerTageblatt, a statement which only goesto prove that there is nothing hiddenfrom the great minds of Germany.
The report that Mr. Henry Fordhas offered to place his works at thedisposal of the American authoritiesseems to indicate that he is determinedto get America on his side, one way orthe other.
Mr. S.F. Edge, the famous motorist,now on the Food Controller's staff,has given it as his opinion that asimple outdoor life is best for pigs.We are ashamed to say that our ownpreference for excluding them fromour drawing-room has hitherto beendictated by purely selfish motives.
America is making every preparationfor a possible war, and Mexico, notto be outdone, has decided to hold aPresidential election.
It is true that Mr. George BernardShaw has visited the Front, but toolittle has, we think, been made of thefact that he wore khaki—just like anordinary person, in fact.
A sensational story reaches us tothe effect that a new journalistic enterprisein Berlin is being devoted to the"reliable reporting of news." We havealways maintained that to be successfulin business you must strike out onoriginal lines.
An exhibition of Zeppelin wreckagehas been opened in the Middle TempleGardens. The authorities are said tobe considering an offer confidentiallycommunicated to them by the GermanGovernment to add Count Zeppelin asan exhibit to the rest of the wreckage.
Members of the Honor Oak GolfClub are starting a piggery on theircourse, and an elderly golfer who practiseson a common near London isabout to write to The Spectator to statethat on Saturday he started a rabbit.
The American Association for theAdvance of Science decided at a recentconvocation that the ape had descendedfrom man. This statement has evokeda very strong protest in monkey circles.
The tuck-shops of Harrow have beenloyally placed out of bounds by the boysthemselves, though of course theseestablishments, like the playing fieldsof Eton, had their part in the winningof Waterloo.
One of our large restaurants is printingon its menus the actual weight ofmeat used in each dish. In others,fish is being put on the table accompaniedby its own scales.
We are requested to carry home ourown purchases, and one of the firmsfor whom we feel sorry is Messrs.Furness, Withy & Company, of Liverpool,who have just purchased PassageDocks, Cork.
Australia by organising her CommonwealthLoan Group, once againlives up to her motto, "Advance,Australia."