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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol. 148.


February 3, 1915.


[Pg 81]

CHARIVARIA.

"Celerity," said the German Chancellor to our representativeat Berlin on the eve of the War, "is essential lo us." It has, however,taken him over five months to discover what he meant by his "scrap ofpaper" speech.

* * *

As a substitute for the International Railway Time Table Conference,Germany has invited Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Austria, Switzerland andItaly to a joint conference to be held on February 3rd. Certainlysomething will have to be done for the Kaiser's Time Tables.They have been most unsatisfactory ever since the outbreak of the War.

* * *

A German paper reports that the Kaiser is in excellent healthnow, and that his girth has distinctly increased during the War. Hispatriotic countrymen must be delighted at this fresh extension ofKaiser-tum.

* * *

The omission of the German Emperor to send a telegramof condolence to King Victor Emmanuel on the occasionof the earthquake has called forth severe comments in Italy. TheKaiser is said to have been anxious to create the impressionthat he sent the earthquake himself as a caution.

* * *

Enver Pasha is said to have now returned to Constantinople.His place in the Egyptian Expeditionary Force will, it is thought, betaken by Revers Pasha.

* * *

The ex-Khedive's war-cry: "Geneva for the Egyptians!"

* * *

"The German Emperor," said General von Kressenstein,the other day, in a speech to Turkish officers and men, "is a sincerefather to Islam." This statement was very necessary as many Turkishsoldiers, judging by their experience of German officers, had imaginedthat the Kaiser was Islam's stepfather.

* * *

Articles entitled "Unser Hass gegen England," Mr. ValentineWilliams tells us, continue to appear in the German Press, and adear old lady writes to say that she presumes the Hass in question isthe Kaiser.

* * *

We are sorry to hear that a Scotch prisoner in Germany got into serioustrouble for referring in a letter to the fact that he was a member ofthe Burns Society. The authorities imagined this to be an incendiaryassociation.

* * *

Those wideawake Germans have discovered further evidence of a shortageof arms in our country. Attention is being drawn in Berlin to the factthat the London County Council has decided to defer the proposal tohave a coat-of-arms until the conclusion of the War.

* * *

We hear that Mr. Winston Churchill is delighted at thesuccess of his expression, "the baby-killers," which has taken onso wonderfully and promises to have a greater run even than Mr.Asquith's "Wait and see." Fortunately in these times there isno jealousy between politicians.

* * *

The Observer is wondering whether, in view of the threat of Zeppelinraids, we are taking sufficient precautions in regard to our nationaltreasures. It may relie

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