PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 93.
November 5th 1887.
THE LETTER-BAG OF TOBY, M.P.
From an Intending Emigrant.
Liverpool, Saturday Noon.
Dear Toby,
My boat is on the shore,And my bark is on the sea,But before I go, To-bee,I will write a line to thee.I am here to join the barkaforesaid, which will presentlyconvey Joseph andhis fortunes to the UnitedStates. As far as one canjudge from the Press newstelegraphed here, the receptionthat awaits me isnot very cordial. I haveall my life been consciousof a tendency to rub peopledown the wrong way.Unhappily the consciousnessis borne in upon meonly after the evil is effected. No succession of experience has effectupon my conduct. Hartington and I are pretty good friends now,but I daresay you will remember the night, now a dozen years dead,when I rose from a seat below the Gangway in the House of Commonsand, amid frantic cheers from the little Radical Party of which I wasthen a humble ornament, denounced him as "late the Leader of theLiberal Party." The Markiss is now my friend and ally, and I mightalmost say patron. The time is too short for me to recall a tithe ofthe nasty things I have said about him and others who toil not,neither do they spin. With Gladstone the process is reversed, butin the end is much the same. I began by adulating him, and nowno one can say that that is my precise attitude towards him.
It is more or less well as far as individuals are concerned. But Iam afraid I put my foot in it when, in defiance of historic warning,I framed an indictment against a whole nation. Going out to theNew World on a mission of peace, I began by aggravating Canadaand setting up the back of the United States. When I reflect howeasy it would have been for me to say nothing, I stand amazed atmy own indiscretion. The only recompense I find in the situation isthe chagrin of the Markiss and his friends. They thought they haddone a nice stroke of policy in engaging me on this business. It is,of course, not a new procedure. If I were still on the other side, Ishould take delight in showing that herein, as in the matter of theConvention with France just completed, they have taken a leaf out ofthe book of their political opponents, and re-issued it with their ownimprimatur. The last time a Commissioner was sent out from Englandto reason with the United States, Gladstone was in the Markiss'splace, and he selected Stafford Northcote as the agent. It was anexcellent device, tying in advance the hands of the enemy, who couldscarcely denounce a policy for the initiation and direction of which oneof their principal men was chiefly responsible. But what a differencebetween Stafford Northcote and me!—a difference which theMarkiss is already beginning to realise. The proposal suited mewell enough. It would take me away from the country at a timewhen my presence here only involves me in embarrassing controversy.Moreover, if I made a great hit, and insured a successfulTreaty, it would pave the way for my return to my old position inthe popular esteem. As for the Markiss, my acceptance of the workwould secure for him an ally on the Oppositi