PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 150.
January 26, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
Some idea of the financial straits inwhich English people find themselvesmay be gathered from the statementthat the first forced strawberries ofthe season fetched no more than tenshillings a pound. The Germans proudlypoint out that their forced loans fetchedmore than that.
A kindly M.P. has suggested thatour German naval prisoners should beemployed in making the projected theship canal between the Firths of Forthand Clyde. At present they sufferterribly from a form of nostalgia knownas canal-sickness.
Owing to the scarcity of hay in theBudapest Zoo the herbivorousanimals are being fed on chestnuts,and several local humorouspapers have been obligedto suspend publication.
As the two Polar bears refusedto flourish on a war-dietthey were condemned to death,and a Hungarian sportsmanpaid twelve pounds for theprivilege of shooting them.No arrangements have yetbeen concluded for finishingoff the Russian variety.
Old saw, adapted by anAmerican journalist: Call noone happy until he is Hearst.
We all know that marriageis a lottery. But the NewZealand paper which headedan announcement of President Wilson'sengagement, "Wild Speculation,"was, we trust, taking an unduly gloomyview.
The fact that the Postmaster-Generaland the Assistant Postmaster-Generalare as like as twoPeases was bound to cause a certainamount of confusion. Still we hardlythink it justified a Welsh paper inplacing a notice of their achievementsunder the heading: "Pea Soup andSalt Beef: 300 Sailors Poisoned."
In the endeavour to decide authoritativelywhat is a new-laid egg theBoard of Agriculture has sought informationfrom various sources, but isreported to be still sitting. There issome fear that the definition will beaddled.
In tendering birthday congratulationsto Mr. Austin Dobson a contemporarynoted that "many of his most charmingpoems and essays were written amid; theirthe prosaic surroundings of the Boardof Trade," and described him as "afine example of a poet rising above hisenvironment." Mr. Edmund Gosse,who was a colleague of Mr. Dobson atWhitehall Gardens during his mosttuneful period, is inclined to think thislast remark uncalled for.
It is estimated that 843,920 house-holdersread with secret joy the paragraphin last week's papers stating thatspring-cleaning is likely to costthe housekeeper this year considerablymore than usualboth for materials andlabour; that 397,413 of them repeatedit to their wives, suggesting that herewas a chance for a real war-economy;and that one (a deaf man) persisted inthe suggestion after his wife had givenher views on the subject.
On reading that London people spendon an average seven shillings a year intheatre-tickets, a manager expressed theopinion that according to his experiencethis calculation was not quite fair.Account should also have been takenof the very large sum which they expendon stamps when writing for freeadmissions.
It is evident that recent events havehad a chastening effect upon Bulgarianambitions. After receiving a field-marshal'sbaton from the Kaiser,King Ferdinand is reported to h