PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 159.
October 13, 1920.
CHARIVARIA.
Mr. Riazanov, the successor to Kameneff,is now residing in GrosvenorStreet. Several readers have writtento ask us how his name is pronounced.Wrongly, we believe, in nine cases outof ten.
We have been given to understandthat that versatile pair, the Two Bobs,are contemplating a tour of the music-hallsin the mining district, where theyare sure to be given a rousing reception.
According to The Evening News twominers recently played a quoit match fora hundred pounds. In all probabilitythey are now agitating for the two shillings'increase to enablethem to have a little sidebet.
"We cannot choosehow we will be born,"says a medical writer.No; some are born poorand others are born intoa miner's family.
"Where stands Englandto-day?" we areasked. While travellingin the Tube we haveoften thought that mostof it was standing onour feet.
"With the outgoingof September we faceonce more the month ofOctober, with its fallingleaves and autumn gales,"states a writer in a dailypaper. This, we understand, is accordingto precedent.
A Glamorgan collier, summoned forincome-tax, stated that he earned elevenpounds a week and wanted every pennyof it. It is said that he is saving up tobuy a strike of his own.
A live frog is reported to have beenfound in a coal seam at a Monmouthshirecolliery. It seems to have beengreatly concerned at having missed theprevious strike ballot.
With reference to Mr. Spender's interviewwith Mr. Lloyd George we regretthat no mention is made of the exactdate when the Prime Minister willdeclare the New World open.
Since it has been so well advertisedwe understand that the banned poster,"The Unknown," is shortly to be renamed"The Very Well Known."
The ex-Kaiser is reported to havemade his will. He has bequeathed histrial to his youngest grandson.
It is proposed to make Poole a first-classport, at a cost of £3,750,000. Wecannot help thinking that hidden awayin some Government office is a manwho could do it at treble the cost.
A London firm of pastrycooks havepurchased two obsolete tanks from theDisposal Boards. They are said tomake excellent utensils for flatteningpancakes.
A dainty little invention has just beentried by the Bolshevists, which consistsof a method whereby boiling water fromthe ship's boiler can be pumped on tosailors who do not obey their officers.It is said to be just the thing to keeptheir minds off the idea of mutiny.
"I have all the qualifications for apost in some Government office," writesan Unemployed Ex-Soldier in a contemporary.It is to be hoped that thisdrawback will be overlooked if his otherdisqualifications are satisfactory.
Washable hats for boys is one of thenew inventions at the Leather and ShoeTrade Exhibition. Small boys are nowgoing about in fear that the next discoverywill be a washable neck.
Six bandits entered the Central Café,New York, the other day and took onethousand pounds from the diners. Theease with which they did it suggeststhat they were mistaken for waiters.
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