Punch, or the London Charivari
Volume 98, June 7th 1890
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
VOCES POPULI.
AT THE ROYAL ACADEMY.
In the Vestibule.
Visitors ascending staircase, full of enthusiasm and energetic determinationnot to miss a single Picture, encounter people descendingin various stages of mental and physical exhaustion. At theturnstiles two Friends meet unexpectedly; both being shy men,who, with timely notice, would have preferred to avoid oneanother, their greetings are marked by an unnatural effusion,and followed by embarrassed silence.
First Shy Man (to break the spell). Odd, our running up againstone another like this, eh?
Second Shy Man. Oh, very odd. (Looks about him irresolutely,and wonders if it would be decent to pass on. Decides it will hardlydo.) Great place for meeting, the Academy, though.
First S. M. Yes; sure to come across somebody, sooner or later.
[Laughs nervously, and wishes the other would go.
Second S. M. (seeing that his friend lingers). This your firstvisit here?
First S. M. Yes. Couldn't very well get away before, you know.
[Feels apologetic, without exactly knowing why.
Second S. M. It's my first visit, too. (Sees no escape, and resignshimself.) Er—we may as well go round together, eh?
First S. M. (who was afraid this was coming—heartily).Good! By the way, I always think, on afirst visit, it's best to take a single room, and do thatthoroughly. [This has only just occurred to him.
Second S. M. (who had been intending to follow thatplan himself). Oh, do you? Now, for my part, Idon't attempt to see anything thoroughly the firsttime. Just scamper through, glance at the thingsone oughtn't to miss, get a general impression, andcome away. Then, if I don't happen to come again,I've always done it, you see. But (considerately), look here. Don't let me drag you about, if you'drather not!
First S. M. Oh, but I shouldn't like to feel I wasany tie on you. Don't you mind about me. I shallpotter about in here—for hours, I daresay.
Second S. M. Ah, well (with vague consolation), Ishall always know where to find you, I suppose.
First S. M. (brightening visibly). Oh dear, yes; Ishan't be far away.
[They part with mutual relief, only tempered by thenecessity of following the course they have respectivelyprescribed for themselves. Nemesis overtakesthe Second S. M. in the next Gallery, when he iscaptured by a Desultory Enthusiast, who insistsupon dragging him all over the place to see obscure "bits" and"gems," which are only to be appreciated by ricking the neck orstooping painfully.
A Suburban Lady (to Female Friend). Oh dear, how stupid of me!I quite forgot to bring a pencil! Oh, thank you, dear, that willdo beautifully. It's just a little blunt; but so long as I canmark with it, you know. You don't think we should avoid the crush if we