E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Jonathan Ingram,
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 158.
APRIL 7, 1920.
CHARIVARIA.
"Do the British people," asks Mr.Blatchford, "understand the natureof the monster modern military sciencehas created?" We hope to hear laterwhat name Mr. Winston Churchillhas found for Mr. Blatchford.
Agitation for a Federal Divorce Lawis being revived in the United States.It appears that there are still somebackward States where the expensesof a divorce suit mount up to somethinglike ten dollars and the partiesoften have to wait as long as threeweeks before the knot is untied.
"It has now been decided definitely,"says The Daily Express,"that Sir AucklandGeddes will leave Englandon April 10th." Thisdisposes finally of therumour that he intendedtaking it with him.
The natives of the AndamanIslands averageabout seventy pounds eachin weight. They are soshort in stature that theirfeet only just reach theground in time.
M. Loucheur suggeststhat France should buildhouses similar to thosewhich are not being builtin England.
"Sergeant R. Pernotte,"says a student of humanendeavour, "last weekpunched a ball for fiftyhours without a break." It is presumedthat the ball must have donesomething to annoy him.
Thirty thousand years ago, says aweekly journal, the seas around Englandwere at a higher level than at present.It is difficult to know what can bedone about it, but it is just as well thatthe matter should be mentioned.
According to Mr. M. T. Simm, M.P.,there are many wayside inns of a passablenature. The trouble, of course, isthat so many people have a difficulty inpassing them.
We understand that Mr. Justice ——'squestion, "Who is Mr. Lloyd George?"has been postponed to a date to befixed later.
A trade journal advertises a newcalculating machine which will total upstupendous figures without any humanhelp at all. A correspondent writes tosay that in his house he has the identicalgas meter which gave the inventorhis idea.
The contemporary which refers to thediscovery of a gold ring inside a cod-fishas extraordinary evidently cannotbe aware that many profiteers who goin for fishing are nowadays using sucharticles as bait.
A purse containing nearly a hundredpounds in treasury notes, picked up bya policeman in South Wales, has notyet been claimed. It is now thoughtprobable that a local miner may havedropped his week's wages whilst enteringhis car and that his secretary hasnot yet called his attention to thedeficit.
"The way some newsboys dodge inand out of the moving traffic is mostdangerous and a serious accident issure to result before very long," complainsa writer in an evening paper.For ourselves we cannot but admirethis attempt on the boys' part to makehistory while in the act of selling it.
We learn from an evening paper thata large woollen warehouse in Londonwas completely destroyed by fire theother day. We cannot understand whysome people use such inflammablematerial for building purposes.
An old pleasure-boat proprietor atYarmouth has